


Its okay to cry

by Kit_writes_fanfic



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Bad Days, Depression, love and care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-09 00:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17396246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kit_writes_fanfic/pseuds/Kit_writes_fanfic
Summary: The corners of his mouth turned down when Rae didn’t reply. He crept forward, with the kind of trepidation he didn’t like sitting in his stomach.





	Its okay to cry

“Rae?” Finn’s voice called out into the dark room, the orange luminescence of a streetlamp bleeding in from the window where the curtains blew gently in the autumn breeze. With his hand frozen on the door handle he peered over at the bed he’d grown accustomed to sharing, care bear covers and all. The corners of his mouth turned down when Rae didn’t reply. He crept forward, with the kind of trepidation he didn’t like sitting in his stomach.  
Linda had told Finn that it wasn't a good Rae day when he’d arrived at the house. He’d waited for her with the gang at the pub for what felt like an age before coming to look for her.

“What’s wrong Rae?” He took in her form. Her face was blank as she stared at the ceiling, her face was red from crying, but not recently. The dark violet circles beneath her eyes were a stark juxtaposition against her pale complexion. He felt his heart clench with a stab of guilt. Here he was sitting in the pub all afternoon while his girl was like this. 

“Nothing Finn. I’m fine, really i am” Raes voice was quiet and raspy from non-use. This wasn’t his Rae, his sharp and sarcastic Rae, his terrifyingly intelligent Rae.   
Right now she was quiet and dampened. Seeing her like this broke Finn’s heart.  
“You don’t look fine, Rae.” He sat down gingerly on the edge of her bed, he moved his face into her line of sight but she didn’t make eye contact with him. He reached a hand out tentatively and let it hang in the air for a millisecond before resting it on her wrist where it lay limply against the sheets of her bed.  
“Then stop looking.” She snapped at him and rolled over so her back was to him, Finn’s hand slipping from her skin. He frowned and his eyebrows drew together as if they were seeking solace in one another. The thought of leaving entered his mind for a split second but pushed it away quickly, he knew Rae wasn’t trying to hurt him or be nasty. This was scared Rae, the Rae that was pushing people away to prove to herself that no one really cared about her. She was wrong though, if she thought that Finn would leave her. So very wrong.  
Finn leant down and unlaced his boots with practiced ease and toed them off before shrugging his jacket down his shoulders, laying them on the floor just under her bed. He twisted on the bed making a space for himself before laying down and wrapping his arm around her midriff. Safe. He pulled her back into his chest and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck.  
“Rae…” He breathed against the baby hairs at the bottom of her hair line, it wasn’t a question, just a soft coaxing of conversation.  
“I...” Her voice was thick with unshed tears and she turned in his arms to face him. She stared up at him, her eyes wide and shining, biting her bottom lip as if that would hold back the flood of emotion about to come. Finn just pulled her face forward into his chest and tangled his fingers in the back of her hair.   
The sobs left her body in wheeses, tremors rocking her entire body. Her chest heaved with the effort of trying to breathe and her body seemed to crumple into itself, knees trying to pull up to her chest only to be met with Finns own legs. Fingers curled into Finn’s shirt, pulling it tight across his shoulders, creating creases that she’d apologize for and smooth out later.   
Finn gazed down at her, fingers caressing the long dark strands away from her face. Careful digits felt across the now overheated red speckling of her cheeks, drying up a rogue tear that sat in the hollow of her eye socket.  
Rae seemed to still slowly, and Finn thought it was unnerving. Even though the crying had broke his heart and he wished for her never to have to cry, it was still motion. Whereas now she was deathly still and quiet, only sign she was still there was the warmth beneath his own touch and the gradual rise and fall of her chest. He wouldn’t push her into speaking when she was like this, sometimes words weren’t needed to communicate.   
Finn pressed closer to her in an attempt to make sure she really knew he was there. Rae had confessed once that sometimes, in the dead of night, she had to reach out to touch him to make sure she hadn’t dreamt him and their whole relationship up. At first he’d been hurt and had asked himself how could she think that? But as their relationship and Finns understanding grew, he knew that she couldn’t help thinking what she did. She just did, and that was just how it was sometimes.  
“I’m here, Girl.” Rae nodded her head at his words and her jaw moved like she was trying to say something, but no sound followed. Finn pulled back a fraction just so he could look into her eyes, red ringed and puffy but still that familiar shade of Rae.   
“I’m sorry, got your shirt all wet…” She chuckled now and scrubbed at her left eye trying to dispel the evidence of her emotions.   
“It’s okay to cry, Rae.” Finns voice was gentle but his words were absolute. The crinkles by her eyes softened out and she nodded again, slower this time. Accepting.  
“I’m sorry for snapping at you Finn, you don’t deserve it.”  
It was Finn’s turn to soften now, a genuine and soft smile gracing his face.   
“Don’t be daft woman, I know you didn’t mean it”   
He cupped her cheek and leant in to press a tender kiss against her lips. It wasn’t heated, yet it conveyed everything they both wanted to say.  
I’m sorry. You’re okay. I’m here for you. I love you.


End file.
